As a creator and consumer of reality and lifestyle television, occasionally I find myself sitting back and wondering “Why? Why am I wasting my time watching such exploitative, pointless tripe on the boobtube?”
And then I remember, like pretty much all human beings on this planet, I’m a voyeur, a simple seeker of “panem et circenses” (bread and circuses), and I can’t help but get some sort of kick out of watching a bunch of catty women outdo each other in a beauty contest, or a family of little people living their little-sized lives or even that poor Atlanta reporter getting caught in a grape-crushing escapade gone horribly wrong. (I’m ashamed to admit I’ve watched that video at least seven times in a row whilst laughing uncontrollably. I’m definitely a sad combination of 80% voyeur and 20% sadist; a sadistic voyeur if you will *sigh*).
I posed the question to my friends one day and got responses like “it’s for the entertainment factor.” Or because “people can live vicariously through it.” Or simply because of the drama factor; Rowdy characters + Friction = DRAMA. And drama, my friends, is entertaining. There’s also that “let’s all stare at that car accident and jam up the highway” voyeur factor. Ugh.
I’m sure it’s a combination of all of the above and more.
Nowadays, with the ever-growing popularity of the Internet and easy-to-use technology and dozens of video hosting sites, just about anyone wanting to be an insta-celebrity can embrace their inner-exhibitionist and publicize every itty-bitty moment of their lives!!!! And the flocks of voyeurs are eagerly waiting. Aching. For the next thrilling moment when they’ll get to engage and influence and simply have a SAY in someone else’s life.
Having said ALL that, I need some help deciding on which puppy to choose. (Yes, I am fully aware of the irony. It also occurs to me that this element of uber-engagement and interactivity on the Net is the perfect forum for indecisive people…*ahem*)
My mom’s toy poodle Sarang recently had two precious little puppies and I’m in a bit of a rut at this point because I canNOT decide on which one to take.
This one is Roxanne, or Roxie for short (yes…I’ve already named them. Don’t judge me.) She’s the runt of the litter, but is the fairer of the two. She likes the colour red and has the entrepreneurial spirit in her. We also like to call her Red-Light Puppy. Just take a moment to think about that one…it’ll come to you.

Then we have Romero (aka. Zombie Puppy) because, yes, he’s a zombie (long story short, his mother thought he was dead at birth and my parents had to resuscitate him). Don’t be fooled by this adorable picture where he’s cuddling with Granna Puppy, Agapi. Not unlike the two-legged worm lizard that calms its prey before the attack, Romero is simply setting Agapi into a sedated trance before he goes for her brains. We also think he might be a little slow. And he’s definitely the chubbier and lazier of the two.

As you can see, it’s impossible to decide on which puppy to take. Because they’re both so ridiculously, obscenely adorable with ridiculous, cool personalities and names.
So let’s just bring this blog post full circle to a poetic end by saying I think the only way I’m going to be able to choose is to pit the puppies against each other in a match to the death. And yes, you can watch PUPPY PANDEMONIUM for free.
Right here.
Next week.
*cue Ride of the Valkyries*